Imagine a smoke alarm that keeps going off long after the fire is out. You can check the room, open the windows, even reassure yourself that you’re safe, and still, the alarm blares.
This is what trauma-based beliefs are like. They aren’t lying. They’re outdated.Beliefs such as “Something is wrong with me” or “I have to stay small to be safe” once helped someone adapt to overwhelming circumstances. The problem is that the nervous system doesn’t automatically update when life changes.
Why beliefs don't change through insight alone
Clients often understand that their beliefs aren’t fully true, yet still feel ruled by them. That’s because trauma-based beliefs are not just cognitive ,they are embedded into our nervous system.
Telling someone “that’s not true” rarely works. What does work is helping the nervous system recognize that:
The belief made sense then
The context has changed now
The meaning can be updated without being erased
Narrative Belief Reframing honors the survival logic of the belief while gently loosening its hold.
How Narrative Reframing Works
Narrative reframing focuses on context and timing. It follows a simple process:
1. Name the belief“I’m a burden.”“I’m not safe.”“I have to do everything perfectly.”
2. Understand where it came fromWhen did this belief start?What was happening then?How did it help you cope?
3. Place it in the pastThis belief belongs to an earlier chapter of life—not the present one.
4. Update the meaningInstead of forcing a positive thought, we look for a belief that feels more accurate today, such as:
“I learned to stay small to survive, but my needs matter now.”
“I was treated like a burden, but that doesn’t mean I am one.”
Why this works
Beliefs don’t change just because we understand them. They change when the nervous system realizes the conditions are different now.
Narrative reframing:
Reduces shame by honoring survival
Avoids emotional flooding
Helps beliefs loosen naturally over time
Works well alongside EMDR or other trauma therapies
Narrative belief reframing isn’t about fixing what’s “wrong” with you.It’s about recognizing that something you learned a long time ago no longer needs to run your life.
You’re not trying to forget the past.You’re letting your system know that you’re not there anymore.
Here is a worksheet to help you try this technique
