The air is cooler, a gentle breeze whispers through the trees, and leaves begin to fall. As October unfolds, our days grow shorter, inviting a sense of reflection. You might find yourself feeling a bit sad or even unsettled. This month marks a natural shift in rhythm: the days become shorter, the weather cooler, and we start to realize that another year is drawing to a close.
While autumn can bring beauty and comfort with its crisp evenings and cozy sweatshirts, it can also stir deeper emotions. Many people experience feelings of grief for the passing time or lost loved ones, alongside anxiety about the approaching holidays or the end of the year.
Grief that Resurfaces in Autumn
For those who have experienced loss, fall can bring unexpected waves of sadness. Anniversaries of loved ones’ passing, changing family traditions, or simply the quiet of darker evenings can awaken grief that may have felt dormant or that we thought we had processed.
The thing about grief is that time does not heal all wounds. It lives within us, growing or shrinking, but never fully disappearing. Certain seasons have a way of reopening the heart, reminding us of what (and who) is missing. Here are some body signals you may notice:
A sudden heaviness or fatigue.
A feeling of emptiness, longing for connection or memories of loved ones.
Difficulty feeling joy or motivation, even when engaging in activities you enjoy.
Irritability or tearfulness without a clear reason.
These experiences are part of how grief moves—not in a straight line, but in cycles. It’s essential to make room for those feelings instead of pushing them away. Try creating small rituals of remembrance: lighting a candle, revisiting photos, or spending quiet time in nature reflecting on the love that remains.
“Grief is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
―Jamie Anderson
Anxiety as the Holidays Approach
For others, October brings a different kind of weight: the slow build of holiday anxiety and end-of-year reflection. The thought of gatherings, expectations, or unfinished goals can stir worry and pressure. You might find yourself wondering:
How will I handle family tension this year?
Can I afford all of this?
Why does everyone else seem so joyful while I feel disconnected?
This type of anxiety is common and often stems from emotional overload. It arises from trying to meet others’ expectations or what we perceive as societal norms while managing personal grief or burnout.
Give yourself permission to simplify: set realistic boundaries, decline invitations that feel draining, and focus on moments of genuine connection rather than perfection. It’s okay to feel conflicted about the holidays; joy and sadness can coexist. You don’t need to perform happiness. You just need to show up as you are.
Focus on what genuinely nourishes you rather than what’s expected.
Finding Support in the Season of Change
As we navigate through this season, it’s vital to recognize that support is available. Here are some ways to help yourself during this transitional time:
Name what’s happening. Instead of pushing feelings away, acknowledge them: “This is grief. This is worry. This is part of being human.”
Stay connected. Reach out to someone who listens without trying to fix things. Grief and anxiety lose their power when shared.
Journal your thoughts. If you don’t have someone to talk to, writing can be a powerful tool for processing emotions.
Find light in small things. A walk among falling leaves, a warm mug of coffee or tea, or a favorite song can bring a sense of calm to your nervous system.
Create new traditions. Let go of what no longer fits. Make space for what feels healing this year.
Seek support. Talking with a therapist can help you navigate these emotions with compassion and clarity.
Embracing the Journey of Healing
As you move through this season, remember: you don’t have to rush to feel better or be okay. Healing often looks like allowing yourself to be exactly where you are—one breath, one day, one step at a time.
“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” — Unknown
In this time of reflection and change, let’s embrace the journey together. Each emotion we feel is a part of our story, a testament to our resilience and capacity for love. As we honor our feelings, we create space for healing and growth. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
