It’s easy to get caught up in the daily demands of business, errands, work, family, and hobbies. The list of responsibilities can feel endless. In this whirlwind, we often overlook the value of taking breaks and doing less. Slowing down is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for well-being. Sometimes, opportunities to pause and reflect arise unexpectedly. This is what happened to me this past week, when I was hit hard with a cold.
This unexpected and tough sickness threw my usual routine off. I had to take a break and just relax and rest. At first, I was really frustrated. I had to cancel work, skip my exercise classes, and throw away my daily schedule that I love. It was disappointing not to be able to do all my usual things. I felt guilty for not being productive. After letting go of some if these feelings, I started to see that this forced break was actually good for me. It was exactly what my body and mind needed.
During this reduced activity, I engaged in deeper introspection. Without screens and distractions, I spent quality time with myself, my thoughts, and my dogs. This stillness allowed me to reflect on my priorities, reassess my goals, and appreciate the simple pleasures.
This experience highlighted the importance of balance in our lives, which I have written about before. It served as a reminder that while productivity and achievement are valuable, they should not overshadow our need for rest. Taking a step back can lead to greater clarity and renewed energy, enabling us to return to our responsibilities with a fresh perspective and a more focused mindset. In a world that often glorifies busyness, it is essential to recognize that doing less can sometimes lead to greater fulfillment and a deeper connection with ourselves and those around us.
What does it mean to sit with ourselves?
This can be a scary place, filled with uncertainty and overwhelming emotions. The feeling of fear can often be paralyzing, leading us to seek distractions in various forms. I know that, in my own experience, I will often turn to podcasts or music as a way to escape the relentless chatter of my thoughts. The rhythm of a favorite song or the discussion in a podcast can create a comforting barrier between myself and the landscape of my mind. However, while these distractions can provide temporary relief, they are distraction from looking at the deeper issues that lie beneath the surface.
If we are able to pause, even if it is just for a brief moment, we can open ourselves up to opportunity for self-discovery. It does not have to be a lengthy or complicated process; a simple minute of stillness can be enough. In that moment of quiet, we can begin to tune into what our own body and mind are trying to communicate to us. Are there tensions in our shoulders that signal stress? Is our heart racing, indicating anxiety or excitement? What about the thoughts swirling in our head? What messages are they attempting to convey? By listening closely, we can gain insights into our emotional state.
Engaging in this practice of mindfulness allows us to cultivate a deeper awareness of our inner experiences. It encourages us to confront our feelings rather than avoid them, ultimately leading to greater emotional resilience. By acknowledging our feelings and fears and understanding their origins, we can begin to dismantle the any hold they have over us. This process of self-tuning can be transformative, enabling us to navigate the complexities of our emotions with greater clarity and confidence.
This thought lead me to revisitng a mindfulness method, the Hakomi method
Hakomi Method: An Introduction
Hakomi is a mindfulness-centered somatic psychotherapy that integrates body awareness, mindfulness, and experiential techniques to help people access unconscious beliefs, emotions, and patterns that shape their lives. Developed by Ron Kurtz in the 1970s, Hakomi combines psychotherapeutic principles with curiosity-based exploration.
Why it works: Hakomi works by accessing the body’s wisdom. Unconscious beliefs often manifest as tension, posture, or subtle impulses. By bringing mindful attention to these sensations in a safe, supportive environment, clients can experience shifts from the inside out—changing the habitual ways they think, feel, and respond to life.
Core Principles:
Mindfulness – Clients are encouraged to notice bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts in the present moment without judgment. This creates awareness of patterns that may otherwise be unconscious.
Unity of Mind and Body – The body holds memory, emotion, and belief. By paying attention to bodily sensations, clients access insights that words alone might not reach.
Nonviolence & Gentle Inquiry – Change occurs without confrontation. Therapists use gentle, respectful exploration rather than pushing or forcing insight.
Experiential Access – Instead of only talking about problems, clients are guided into direct experiences of beliefs, emotions, and memories.
Holistic Perspective – Hakomi sees the person as a whole: physical, emotional, cognitive, relational, and spiritual aspects are interconnected.
The Process:
Sessions often begin with grounding and mindfulness exercises.
The therapist invites clients to focus on present-moment experiences, noticing sensations, impulses, and images.
Through gentle experiments or inquiries, clients explore core beliefs and habitual patterns.
The goal is to bring unconscious material into awareness, enabling new choices, healing, and transformation.
Typical Applications:
Resolving trauma or early attachment wounds
Addressing anxiety, depression, or self-esteem issues
Improving relationships
Enhancing self-awareness and personal growth
Below is a self-exploration to try with additional instructions and downloadable worksheet
Downloadable companion worksheet
What does it mean to be present with another being?
As I mentioned at the start, spending time alone allowed me to spend more time with my furry friends. Being with our animals is one way to experience co-regulation. Co-regulation is a basic way our nervous system regulates itself, and it’s connected to polyvagal theory. At its heart, co-regulation emphasizes how important social connections are for our survival and emotional well-being. Humans have a built-in need to not only survive but also thrive in the company of others. This deep need for connection is hardwired into our nervous system, which uses a process called neuroception. Neuroception is an automatic and subconscious way our nervous system constantly looks around for signs of safety or danger. This process is super important for our survival, because it helps us react to the world around us in the right way.
When we’re around people or animals that make us feel safe, our nervous system can chill out and work better. This relaxation is super important for our emotional and physical health, so we can fully enjoy life. Think about a baby being rocked and soothed and how that energy is able to calm then. We can also experieincethis through the warmth of a hug, the soft sound of loved ones voice, or even just sitting next to a loved one, whether it’s your partner, family member, or close friend, can give you a deep sense of security. Even cuddling with a pet, like a cat or dog, can trigger this relaxation response. These animals often have calming energies that help reduce stress and anxiety.
Co-regulation occurs through nonverbal cues that facilitate this connection and emotional attunement. These cues are essential for establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships, and they include:
Tone of voice (prosody): The way we speak, including the pitch, volume, and rhythm of our voice, can convey emotions and intentions that words alone may not express. A soothing tone can calm others, while a harsh tone may signal danger.
Facial expression: Our faces are powerful communicators of feelings. A warm smile or a look of concern can foster feelings of safety and connection, while a frown or scowl can evoke fear or discomfort.
Eye contact (when safe): Making eye contact can establish trust and intimacy. It signals to others that we are present, engaged, and attuned to their needs, reinforcing a sense of safety in the interaction.
Rhythm of breathing: The synchronization of breathing patterns can be a subtle yet effective way to co-regulate with others. When we breathe together, it can create a sense of harmony and calm, helping to lower stress levels.
Presence, warmth, and attunement: Simply being present with someone, offering warmth through physical touch or proximity, and being attuned to their emotional state can enhance feelings of safety and connection. This presence allows individuals to feel understood and supported.
Closing Thoughts: Slowing Down as a Path Back to Ourselves
This past experience reminded me that slowing down isn’t something we earn after everything is done. It’s something our nervous system often needs before we can truly show up for our lives. Whether it’s an unexpected illness, a moment of exhaustion, or a quiet pause we intentionally choose, slowing down helps us reconnect with ourselves.
Mindfulness helps us notice what’s happening inside us without needing to fix or escape it. Approaches like the Hakomi Method offer a framework for doing just that; listening to the body, honoring curiosity, and allowing insight to arise naturally rather than through force. When we slow down enough to notice sensations, emotions, and patterns, we begin to understand ourselves in a deeper way.
Co-regulation reminds us that we don’t have to do this alone. Our nervous systems are shaped by connection. The calming presence of another person, or even an animal can help our body feel safe enough to soften. In these moments of shared presence we experience what it means to be supported at a level deeper than words.
In a culture that often glorifies busyness and productivity, choosing to pause can feel uncomfortable or even wrong. But rest, presence, and connection are not distractions from life;they are what allow us to live it more fully. Slowing down, listening inward, and allowing ourselves to be supported may be some of the most meaningful practices we can return to, again and again.
Sometimes, doing less is exactly what helps us feel more whole.