When I find myself in a crowd, my first instinct is to run the other way. Of course, I don’t follow through with that urge; but that doesn’t make it disappear. Social anxiety shows up in many ways for me: my heart races before speaking, my palms sweat during simple conversations, and my mind spins with worries about what others might be thinking. Even after leaving a gathering, I replay every moment, convinced I said or did something embarrassing.
That’s the reality of social anxiety. It feels like being under a spotlight, even when you’re in a room full of people who are just going about their day.
What It’s Like to Live with Social Anxiety
For me, it shows up in little moments:
Avoiding events with large crowds.
Feeling nervous about sending a text or making a phone call.
Overthinking every comment after a meeting, wondering if I came across the way I hoped.
Experiencing a pounding heart and shaky voice when I have to speak up in front of others.
It can be exhausting—but I’ve learned it doesn’t have to control my life.
What’s Helping Me Cope
1. Questioning my thoughts.
I used to automatically believe my anxious thoughts—“They think I’m awkward,” or “I made a fool of myself.” Now, I pause and ask:Is that really true?Most of the time, people aren’t scrutinizing me the way I imagine.
2. Taking small steps.
Instead of forcing myself into overwhelming situations, I practice with smaller ones: chatting with a cashier, introducing myself to a new coworker, or simply saying hi to a neighbor. Each time, it feels a little easier.
3. Shifting the focus.
When I stop worrying about how I’m coming across and start truly listening to the person in front of me, the pressure eases. Paying attention to others pulls me out of my own head.
4. Calming my body.
Deep breathing has been a lifesaver. When I feel panic rising, I focus on slow, steady breaths, reminding myself I’m safe. Simple techniques like this help me stay grounded.
5. Reaching out for support.
Knowing I don’t have to navigate this alone has been incredibly freeing. Having someone validate my experience and offer coping tools has made a real difference.
Moving Forward
I still experience social anxiety. It hasn’t disappeared, but I’ve learned it doesn’t have to hold me back. Each small step I take is progress.
If you struggle with social anxiety too, know that you’re not alone. It may feel isolating, but there’s a whole community of people who understand. With time, practice, and support, it’s possible to feel lighter, freer, and more at ease in the world.
